“Not Even to Explain”

He looked at me like I was light,
Said I was his and he was right.
With soft-spoke words and burning eyes,
He built a world on practiced lies.

I got the notes, the beach, the songs,
The promises that felt so strong.
He said he'd never love again—
But monsters know just how to pretend.

At first, I trusted every word,
Believed the pain in stories heard.
Of women cruel and love gone wrong,
I swore I’d prove I’d stay lifelong.

But snark turned sharp, and love grew cold,
And silence screamed the truth untold.
A glance, a sigh, a slammed-back door—
I learned what heavy hearts are for.

The man the world would never see
Was not the one who lived with me.
They saw the charm, the harmless grin—
Not rage disguised in fragile skin.

My son would run when tires spun,
We braced for storms that always won.
I walked the floors with quiet dread,
Afraid to breathe, afraid he’d tread.

I watched him twist the world with ease,
Turn guilt to truth and shame to peace.
Gaslighting burned like subtle flame,
While he convinced them I’m to blame.

She thinks she knows—because he spoke.
But every word was just a cloak.
And if she thinks I’m just insane,
Well, let her stay inside that frame.

I’ve left the house, the lies, the war,
I don’t stand guard behind the door.
I don’t explain. I don’t defend.
That story met its bitter end.

I don’t decode, I don’t prepare,
I’m not afraid of who’s not there.
No burn accounts or checking phones—
Just peace that lives in quiet tones.

He can perform. He still might try.
But I don’t flinch, and I don’t cry.
The truth is mine, I won’t be swayed—
That’s power, not the mess he made.

The weight is gone. My ground is plain.
I won’t go back—
I won’t explain.

-AG-